There are a few people on this planet that you should try to avoid. 1) Angry sports fans after their team loses 2) Anyone driving the "bypass" around Indianapolis between 4:00 and 6:00 pm 3) Scottish magicians with wooden ducks.
The fact is, there seems to be something about either Kilts or wooden props that makes Scottish magicians dangerously cranky. Or it could be massive amounts of alcohol.
Whatever it is. Stay away from them. You've been warned.