Morty's

Thor Ramsey and I are performing at Morty's Comedy Joint March 21-24th. If you're in the area...(meaning somewhere on the North American continent) then you should come in and see the show.

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Why I Love Living In The Midwest

In the midwest, rain can be used so many different ways. Sometimes, it's just rain. Other times, it comes down as snow. Then, there are times like today when precipitation demonstrates the depth of its creativity and comes down as both rain AND snow at the same time. It's called sleet or 'freezing rain' and it is glorious to behold.

As a layer of ice coats everything in my home state of Indiana, I'm sitting here in a New York airport wondering if I'll be able to get home. New York has about three thousand inches of snow right now. The locals tell me that's a little less than they usually have this time of year. But they can function in the snow. They're used to it and have the means to deal with it. They are, I believe, bored with it.

How can you get bored with freezing rain? It's like the Russian Roulette of snowfall. Do I get out the salt? Do i send out the plows? Nope it's just rain...wait a minute...it's starting to freeze...hold on...no...it's just raining.

This is why I love the midwest. You never know for sure what you're going to get. I wouldn't be surprised if a volcano erupted in downtown Indy. That'll probably happen as soon as the ice melts off the runway and I'm scheduled to leave New York...

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Thank God for Atheists!

There's a group of concerned atheists on a crusade to stamp out Christmas. They also want to encourage people to commit the unforgivable sin of blasphemy. It's encouraging to know that the idea of a Godless universe can still spur people to action!



I'd expect that atheists would be fat, apathetic derelicts, lacking the energy to hoist themselves out of the overstuffed chairs at the university coffee house. It seems I'm wrong. The modern atheist has at least a few creative, resourceful and articulate members in the ranks. They've put up a website. That doesn't happen all by itself, you know. A website doesn't just evolve out of nothing.



These folks are rising up against the outrage that is Christianity; the dogma that has plagued human-kind for centuries and is directly responsible such appalling doctrines as 'all men are created equal' and 'do unto others as you'd have them do to you'.



Indeed, I'm certain that once the Rational Response Squad has amassed a sizeable army of enlightened heathens and educated all children to the fact that Jesus is a myth, they'll turn the focus of their energies on other issues of lesser importance to society such as feeding starving children. They'll commit themselves to the tasks of housing the homeless and employing the jobless. When they have squashed the out-dated heresy that every person is a unique and important creation of God, they'll rally themselves to the task of breathing hope back into human hearts.



And when that happens, I promise not to say, "God bless you."

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