Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Thoughts of Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a holiday that's named for what it is.
It's a day when we give thanks.
Other holidays are not so appropriately named.
The day dedicated to launching bottle rockets into your neighbor's yard...
Independence Day.
Should be called Arsonist Day.
Memorial Day should be - 'Get Out of School For Free Day'
Father's Day - 'Just Another Sunday In June'

It's strange how things become tradition at holiday times.
We exchange gifts with each other at Christmas...
because that's what the Magi did.
...they came to Bethlehem and gave gifts to each other.
uh. You get what I mean.

Thanksgiving tradition is all about food.
We're vaguely aware of the history of the holiday
'The Indians helped the colonists survive a long, hard winter.'
But the only part of that history that we re-enact is the feast.
We could celebrate Thanksgiving by turning off our furnaces...
And sitting around the freezing house in threadbare skivveys.
We could inject ourselves with Whooping Cough...
*Hack-Cough* 'Boy, I love this Holiday'
*Hack-Cough* 'This is better than Caroling'

I read that some people are having Thanksgiving dinner catered!
That's pretty much what the Pilgrims did.
'Squanto's Catering'
And perhaps the holiday should be renamed...
'Gluttony and Football Afternoon'
'Countdown to Christmas Shopping Day'

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