A New Kind of Clean

Okay, I've seen this new kind of laundry soap that has this special, new
ingredient called "Oxygen".
Oxygen?
Hasn't that been around for quite awhile?
I'm not saying this isn't a good thing, I'm just curious about how they
can claim it's 'new' and 'better' than other kinds of soap that supposedly
don't tap into the power of oxygen. I mean, unless you're doing your
laundry in space, there should be oxygen in the vicinity. Right?
And why is oxygen supposedly so great for cleaning things? It's been
swirling around in our atmosphere for centuries and I've never known it to
knock a stain out of a shirt on its own.
What about other common gases. Is nitrogen good for getting out stains?
How about Helium?
That'd be fun, wouldn't it? A laundry soap that's infused with
helium...people in the laudrymat would sound like a chipmunk convention.

--
Comedy That Won't Leave A Filthy Residue
www.johnbranyan.com