Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Do You Mind?

american-atheists-billboard-merry-myth-500 

I'm not going to ask anymore.
A guy asked me if he could pray for me.
Naturally, I said 'yes'.
I'd have to be a 'class-A' jerk to say 'no'.
Especially in this context...
...the guy was a pastor and I was doing a show at his church.
 "The comedian wouldn't let me pray for him."
"...have we already sent his check?"
Why ask permission to pray for someone?
Odds are that you're going to do it anyway.
...especially if they say 'no'.
So I'm not going to ask anymore.
Let them try to stop me.
GUY 1: "You look good!"
GUY 2: "Thanks! I almost died in that car accident. Wasn't expected to live then...wait a second!"
GUY 1: "What is it?"
GUY 2: "I distinctly told you NOT to pray for me! And suddenly I'm fully healed?"
GUY 1: "You can't prove anything!"
GUY 2: "I should be dead! You should keep your religion to yourself!"
There's no need to make a scene.
I can offer covert prayers....
...ninja style.
People say "bless you" after a sneeze.
That's basically a renegade prayer.
No green light from the sneezer.
It'd be awkward otherwise.
GUY 1: "Achoooo!"
GUY 2: "May I say bless you?"
GUY 1: "To what faith do you adhere?"
GUY 2: "Sir, I am a Christian."
GUY 1: "Protestant or Catholic?"
GUY 2: "Protestant."
GUY 1: "Denominational?"
GUY 2: "Methodist."
GUY 1: "Reformed?"
GUY 2: "Yes."
GUY 1: "Keep your blessing to yourself, heathen!"
GUY 2: "Very well...here's a tissue."
 However things play out, I'm done asking permission.
It's probably obnoxious to some.
But it's not like I'm buying a billboard in Times Square.
(BTW: I prayed for the billboard sponsors...)

3 comments:

Shannon Shelton said...

I always find it amazing how many people, that have gotten in my face about being a Christian, have come to me when they were in trouble and wanted someone to pray. They know where the power is, and it is'nt in the stuff they worship!

Mike Hickman Comedy said...

I love it bro! Thanks for the funny and true post. Merry Christmas to you and your family. May I say "blessings to your family"? or should I just put it all out there and let er rip?. Love you brah!

Legacy of the Family said...

You made some good points. Why do we need to ask for permission to pray, unless we have needs we're attempting to meet inappropriately, like a need for attention or spiritual appreciation?

The times I have asked to pray for a person were because there was such a mess I didn't know where to begin. Then it's appropriate to ask, "How can I best pray for you?"