Saturday, January 31, 2004

Just in case there is some confusion, let me make something perfectly clear.

I am NOT "the most sought after comedian in the country". After reviewing promotional material on the internet, I have determined that there are many comedians who are "the most sought after comedian in the country".

I am not one of them.

If you're looking for "the most sought after comedian in the country", you'll be happy to know that this elite position is occupied by hundreds of comedians. There are many from which to choose. You haven't heard of any of them. Don't worry, many other people have sought them before you.

I am also NOT "the fastest rising comedian in America". There are many comedians who are "fast rising" and I'm not sure why that's something to brag about. Fast rising is a quality that you want in yeast. Comedians don't have to rise.

Further, I am NOT "the hottest young comedian in the business". My temperature is a standard 98.6 degrees. The comedians who are "the hottest young comedian in the business" claim to be such without any reference to their basal body temperature. To verify that they are indeed "the hottest" you'll have to stick a thermometer under their tongues.

I am NOT "the funniest comedian alive". There are a bunch of comedians who are "the funniest comedian alive". I suppose the title "funniest comedian dead" is up for grabs but I'm not going after it. Even if I obtained that title, how would I hang onto it? If a funnier comedian died, I couldn't do anything to reclaim the crown.

I hope this cuts through some of the misunderstandings.

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