I toured with a band for awhile.
Backstage, right by the entrance, there was a sign.
The sign said, "You are in CHICAGO!"
The band needed a sign to tell them where they were!
I made up some signs and put them next to that one.
..."You are BOYS!"
..."You should wear PANTS!"
..."Don't chew ON THE ELECTRIC WIRES!"
A few years later, I was on stage.
I said, "Great to be here in..."
And I couldn't remember the name of the town.
...started chewing on the electric wire.
Most people, when they travel, have a vague idea
where they're going.
I travel for work. It's different from planning vacation.
I depend on the kindness of strangers.
"Somebody will pick you up."
That's what I get told.
I assume this person will be in a car.
So far, there's never been a seven year old girl on a tricycle waiting at the airport
"Hop on! You can ring the bell !"
I assume the person picking me up is trustworthy.
"Let's have Sal pick up the comic! He gets out of the joint that day! It's on his way home!"
But that's part of why I forget where I am.
Every place starts to look alike.
I'd remember something out of the ordinary.
"Where were you when that seven year old convict picked you up on a trike?"
"Remember? She wanted to give you a tattoo? Demanded you buy her cigarettes?"
So I'm downright reckless when I travel.
Honestly, I don't always know where I'm going.
Can you imagine getting on a plane...
and not having the destination be part of your basic schema of information?
I do it all the time.
I'm more concerned about getting a middle seat than where I'm going on Earth.
One time, I went up to the ticket counter to talk to the agent.
She asked me, "What's your destination city?"
I just stared at her. Thinking...
Finally I said, "Wherever the plane lands."
She looked at me like, "Does your mommy know you're all by yourself?"