Monday, August 06, 2012

How To Tell If You're Male

Army mans
I've compiled a short list of test questions that will sort men from women.

This is not a complete list, but it's enough to finish the job and that's all men care about.

Give yourself one point for every 'YES' answer to the following questions:

Have you ever...
Used a dangerously sharp object to scratch an itch inside your ear?
Lit a gas grill with the lid down?
Counseled a child to "not do what I just did with firecrackers"?
Used plastic army men with any of the following: dirt clods, sparklers, lighter fluid?
Assembled anything without even looking to see if it came with directions?
Killed a tank of fish with neglect?
Been on the roof of a building uninvited?
Applied cologne in lieu of a shower?
Kicked or punched a machine because it wasn't working properly?
Forgotten a jar of insects under a bed?
Licked a 9-volt battery?
Licked another kind of battery because you thought they all worked like 9-volts?
Ridden a bicycle with another human being balanced on the handlebars?
Placed a living creature in a pants pocket?
Intentionally used a rock to break glass?
Ignored an ache or pain for 6 months because "it will get better by itself"?
Worn clothes you took from the hamper?
Worn clothes that would have come from the hamper but you never use yours?
Called for silence in a room before farting?
Allowed another person or thing to take the blame for a smell you created?

If you have 15 or more points: you are most certainly a male.
In fact, if you have more than 3 points you're a male.
If you shook your head and asked, "Do people really do these things?" at any point during the quiz...
you are a female.
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Mendy Patrick said...

Well...Crap. I answered 9 with "yes". I always thought I was a female. Thank you so much for enlightening me! Very life changing!

Michelle Gregory said...

i tried to kill fish with neglect but it didn't work.