If Elected, I Promise...

The last couple of days I've been thinkinig.

In Jr. High School I ran for Student Body President (POTJHSB)
I didn't win.
As I watch the DNC this week, I've learned a thing or two.
If I could go back to Jr. High and re-run my campaign...
I would make a few changes in my platform.
If elected, I promise that...
...no student in the lower 49% of the grading scale will be required to do homework
...the Valedictorian and Salutatorian will have to share their homework with everyone.
...anyone handing in term papers must acknowledge that they didn't write it.
...students with GPA 's below passing will be given passing grades anyway.
...smoking will be banned in the cafeteria, school bus, student homes, city limits, county, state & universe.
...students will be required to take a test to find out if they're gay.
...students who tested 'straight' would be required to retake the test.
...non-gay students would be required to take "Homosexual Sensitivity Courses" so they won't hate.
...students not passing the "Homosexual Sensitivity Course" would be classified as gay.
...Jerusalem and Israel don't exist.
...oh, wait a minute, yes they do!
...God has nothing to do with my platform or life in this school.
...oh, wait a minute, yeah, God is worth mentioning, if some of you are gonna whine about it.
...babies will pay with their lives for the mistakes of their parents
... abortion will be free (and come with chocolate milk!)
This would certainly be a platform of change for my Jr. High School!
Get out there and vote for me!
No I.D. required !!